I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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