wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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