SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
