I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
