I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
