You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so let's talk penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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