shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
