everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
