He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My ass is underappreciated
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
