Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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