I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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