too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
