From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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