Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
