I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
