never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
