i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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