Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We need to get me chipped asap
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
