I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
