i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
