like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
