i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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