READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
