So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
