She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
