I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
