I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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