That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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