I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
