Only a mothe r could love this liver
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
