Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
