True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wear drunk well.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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