I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
