just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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