i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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