my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
