maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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