Farmville is her only friend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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