my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
