bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
