she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
