is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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