No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
