If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
