I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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