hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
