just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
