Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
