You made me cry and you don't even care
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
