just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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